Nesting: Alone

Alone: to be by oneself; to be separate from others. “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do…” sang Three Dog Night in the 1960s making Harry Nilsson’s lyrics a U.S. Billboard Hot 100 number 5 song. While being alone may create loneliness, it also might not.

For instance, introverts prefer alone time for recharging energies. Yet, extroverts prefer the company of others to recharge. Many overstimulated or stressed-out individuals need alone time to regroup, recharge, and revitalize. Being on our own may be exactly what we need for our well-being. Reflecting on life and what we want and need can be easier without the activities of others filling our senses. Trying a new recipe without anyone under foot may be the most relaxing time ever. Reading a book or finishing a hand-craft in the quiet of an empty house may be what’s needed.

Our homes are meant to be the safest place to be – whether with others or by ourselves. As you know, Nesting and are about the creation of home through objects and experiences that create happiness and fond memories. Alone time at home can be full of joy-filled memories, colorful objects reminding us of shared stories, and relaxation time pursuing our favorite activities, hobbies, and tasks.

Traveling alone or being by oneself in nature can be replenishing. The Contemplation set of NestingCards (pictured) captures the sense of awe, wonder, and refreshment from being quietly in and with nature. Viewing these images is especially helpful today.

Today. Despite the noise and online connections/entertainment of today, many teens and adults feel alone, isolated, uncared for. This morning a young adult’s text that included these messages was read to me: “I hate everyone. I wish she’d aborted me. I want to die.” Alone is what this message screamed to my listening ears, along with: scared – angry and exhausted too. Together we worked out a plan of action for the day. Alone, I researched suicide prevention hotlines and helplines. Thankfully, an hour later I received word that the person we were concerned for was alive and doing “fine.”  

“Two can be as lonely as one…” continues the song. This is true. I’ve heard tell “I was more alone in my marriage than I’ve ever felt living by myself.” I’ve taken this to mean that living with someone when there is no meaningful relationship or no relationship beyond being a roommate is lonely, isolating, and saddening. I also understand this to be a communication that many people need to have meaningful relationships in order to not feel alone – whether they live on their own or with others.

Living alone does not have to mean a person is lonely. Living with someone doesn’t ensure that a person is feeling fulfilled in the relationship. Each of us gets to determine what we need, communicate our needs, and set our courses for alone time, together time, and home time.

Are you alone? Do you want to do anything to change your situation? What, if anything, will you change?

Nesting is about the objects and experiences that create a sense of home. Without home, it is difficult to maintain health, find joy, or to be productive. Enjoy the Nesting series of blogs on your search for and creation of a deep sense of home. –Jana

Jana Kemp

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